


Here's to Us

by sasucakes



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Chapter 699 (Naruto), Requited Love, Suicide Attempt, disregard canon ending, mention of suicide, takes place after the war, twelve years of sexual tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2019-02-06 21:36:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12826602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sasucakes/pseuds/sasucakes
Summary: Sasuke comes back from an eight month absence and things feel different.





	Here's to Us

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place after the war, disregarding everything after chapter 699. Thank you for reading. 
> 
> P.S. There are some incorrect line breaks here and there, and I'm not patient enough to edit them out in Archive's format. Sincerely, my bad.

Sasuke came back from an eight month absence and things felt different. 

Things had always been different. Sasuke was gone more often than present and when he was present he still felt absent. But one time, Sasuke came back from one of his trips and Naruto felt something had really changed. Sasuke looked ready to give in. To what, Naruto didn’t want to think. So he decided immediately that he wouldn’t let it happen.

Naruto didn’t care that Sasuke thought it meant nothing that he was gone for almost a year, because Naruto was his best friend and he was going to see him. 

Naruto knocked on the door to Sasuke’s apartment late into the evening. Sasuke didn’t live in the Uchiha clan compound. That was still just remains. Left in their current state out of spite.

Sasuke answered the door much more quickly than Naruto had thought he would. He looked at Naruto with bottomless eyes, the door cracked open four inches.

“It’s me, open up.” Naruto smiled brilliantly, he really couldn’t help it. Sasuke’s face just did that much for him.

Sasuke held the door open wordlessly and Naruto considered his easy cooperation. He was probably just exhausted. 

And when Naruto really looked at him, in the light of the living room, he could see that Sasuke was exhausted. He looked absolutely suffocated under the weight of living.  
But he was beautiful. It pissed Naruto off after a while, how fucking beautiful Sasuke was. And it was only getting worse. At his present age of twenty two, hair longer and slightly curling, bangs hanging gently over his rinnegan, Naruto was especially offended at how beautiful he was. 

“I hope you’re staying longer this time.” Naruto said. 

“I don’t think I’ll be leaving again, actually.”

The statement should have put Naruto’s poor nerves finally to rest, but it only worried him. Something about Sasuke’s glassed over eyes. The fact that he had absolutely no bite in his voice. He had been different after the war but never this vacant. Naruto knew little had been exchanged, but he was picking up signals that were reading as very dangerous. So he acted, because that’s the kind of person he was.

“Did something happen to you?”

“When?” 

Naruto could have sworn Sasuke layered some kind of sick irony into that question. 

“On this trip. Did something bad happen? Or different?” Naruto paused. 

“Nothing happened.” Sasuke sat on the sofa and looked at Naruto, resigned. He looked like he was ready to give in. To what? Naruto was becoming more and more afraid. 

“Look, I know this isn’t how you like to do things, but are you ok? I really want to know. You come and go a lot but this time you were gone the longest and you-“ Naruto stopped, treading carefully.

Sasuke just stared at Naruto, waiting. 

“-I can tell that something’s really wrong.”

Sasuke’s mouth moved in what might have been a smile, had he not endured unending trauma for his entire life.

“I’m fine. Thanks.” 

Naruto bristled and slightly raised his voice, “You’ve never been fine, once in your life.” He walked over and sat down on the couch, instinctively close to Sasuke. Sasuke’s eyes flitted up and down Naruto’s form very quickly. At least he’d garnered a reaction. But otherwise Sasuke was silent.

Then, “Would you hit me?”

“What?”

Sasuke turned. “Would you punch me? Maybe in the face or the stomach.”

“Uh-“ Naruto was definitely afraid now, “Not unless you gave me a good reason.”

“I think it might make me feel better.” 

He’d never seen Sasuke act like this. This was something entirely different. Sasuke was a shell next to him. 

Naruto turned and wrapped his arms around Sasuke tightly, eyes wide. 

“Sasuke,” He began, his voice a rasp, “Were you going to kill yourself tonight?”

Sasuke immediately turned to stone in his arms. There was his answer. Naruto held him tighter. 

“God damnit,” Naruto was crying, “You weren’t even going to see me…if I hadn’t come here…” He kept his arms around Sasuke and cried into his neck.

“I didn’t want it to be any harder for you.” Sasuke's voice was quiet.

Naruto felt so nauseas. He heaved a few shuddering breaths and tried to calm down before he spoke, then he let go of Sasuke so he could see his face again.

“Did you have a plan?”

Sasuke wouldn’t look Naruto in the eye. “No.” When Naruto kept staring, Sasuke said again, “No. I didn’t.”

“But you were going to.”

“I felt like I might.”

Naruto wrapped one arm around Sasuke’s shoulder so they were pressed together.

“Have you tried before?”

Sasuke took his time before answering, “Not exactly. I used to-” Another pause, “I used to tie a rope around my neck every once in a while, just to see what it felt like.”

Naruto contained his frantic emotions. “What was different about tonight?”

“Nothing, really.”

Sasuke had finally just reached a breaking point. 

“Naruto, this isn’t your fault. It’s my own doing that got me here, and you don’t need to concern yourself with it.”

“Sasuke, no- You-” Naruto sputtered, “You really think I’m just going to go home and forget that this happened? That I’d be able to?”

No answer.

Naruto gripped Sasuke’s shoulder in his hand firmly.

“I’m staying here, until I know you’re ok on your own. Or you can come to my place.” 

No answer.

“Sasuke?”

“I’m sorry.” 

“You’re sorry?” 

“For causing you trouble. For causing you nothing but trouble for our whole lives.”

Naruto let out a choked laugh and Sasuke finally looked at him.

“You know it’s never been like that. It’s never been like that, Sasuke.” 

“I’m still sorry.” 

“I’m sorry too.” Naruto grabbed Sasuke’s hands and was pleased to see a flicker of nervousness in his eyes. “I never should have let you leave again in the first place. I knew it would be-

“I push you away. It’s not your fault that I isolate myself.”

“I let you push me away. Maybe it would be different for other people, but I know you Sasuke. I know you’ll only let me be there if I push back.”

Sasuke was silent again, but Naruto expected as much.

“You know I love you right?” Naruto’s hands were shaking, his stomach turning, and his heart racing but he continued, “You know I’m in love with you, right?”

Naruto waited through Sasuke’s silence. He wasn’t afraid of confessing because, although it was unspoken, it had always been known between them. He wasn’t expecting what Sasuke said next.

“I’m in love with you too.” Sasuke said it quickly, and a little harshly, and Naruto honestly couldn’t have expected anything else. “I’m in love with you, but I’m- I’m always going to be like this. I’m never going to be ok. I finally have the time to really think about it. It’s never going to be good for you.”

Naruto felt so many different things he almost just started crying again. “You’ve always been the best thing that ever happened to me, Sasuke. And you are good for me. I know you, you know? I know you better than you know yourself. I know what I’m signing up for and always have.”

It was quiet for about a minute.

“I’m…feeling better.” Sasuke began.

“Sasuke don’t try to get rid of me. This isn’t negotiable. I’m staying here or you’re coming to my place.”

Sasuke sighed and then smiled. A real smile. Looking right at Naruto. Naruto could die the sight was so remarkable and rare.

“Let’s stay here. Your place is too messy.” 

“You asshole,” Naruto grinned and smothered Sasuke with another hug, “I love you so much.” His voice was muffled in Sasuke’s shirt. “Please…next time, let me be there for you.”  
“I’ll try to not have a next time.” 

Naruto nodded, studying Sasuke’s face for a moment. “Hey, is that stubble?”

Sasuke brushed a hand across his face. 

“…Yeah, I haven’t looked at myself in a mirror for a few days.”

“You’re really pulling off that scruffy look, but you still make such a sexy little twink.” 

Sasuke blushed vividly and gaped at Naruto. Nothing so explicit or forward had ever been exchanged between them.

“You!-” Naruto was ecstatic seeing Sasuke this flustered, “Shut up! I’m not-”

“Don’t even try to deny it, Sasuke.”

“You’re a twink.” 

Then Naruto was the one blushing. But something was incredibly absurd about seeing Sasuke Uchiha say those words with such frustration and conviction, so he started laughing. And eventually, Sasuke laughed with him. 

“Sasuke,” Naruto began, you know you really will be ok one day, right? I’m going to make sure of it.”

“Yeah, I believe you.”


End file.
